We once watched a founding team spend eleven hours debating a company name. Eleven hours. They ordered dinner. Twice.
And you know what? That's actually pretty fast.
Why Naming Breaks People
Naming is uniquely agonizing because it sits at the intersection of strategy, linguistics, emotion, legal availability, and domain names. It's the only branding decision where you need a trademark attorney, a linguist, and a poet in the same room.
Every other brand element can evolve. You can tweak your logo. You can update your color palette. You can overhaul your website. But your name? That's tattooed on. Changing it later costs millions in lost equity, customer confusion, and rebranding expenses. The stakes are genuinely high, and everyone knows it.
That's why naming meetings turn into hostage negotiations.
Why Most Names Fail
They Describe Instead of Evoke
The instinct is to make the name explain the product. So you get names like "QuickShip Solutions" or "DataFlow Analytics." These names are technically accurate and completely forgettable. They describe a feature, not a feeling.
Compare that to Slack. The name doesn't describe team messaging. It evokes the feeling the product creates — cutting through the noise, taking the tension out of work communication. (It's also a backronym: Searchable Log of All Communication and Knowledge. But nobody knows that, and it doesn't matter.)
They're Too Clever
There's a special graveyard for startup names that required an explanation. "See, it's a portmanteau of 'quantum' and 'beautiful' because we're making quantum computing elegant." Cool story. Nobody will ever spell it right, pronounce it correctly, or remember it after hearing it once.
They Ignore Sound
This is the mistake that kills me. Names are spoken aloud far more often than they're read. How does it feel in your mouth? Does it have rhythm? Mailchimp works because those two punchy syllables are satisfying to say. Imagine if they'd called themselves "Email Marketing Primate." Same concept. Dead on arrival.
Names That Worked (And Why)
Patagonia. Named after a remote region of South America. It evokes adventure, wildness, and the kind of rugged beauty that outdoor enthusiasts chase. It tells you nothing about fleece jackets. It tells you everything about the brand's soul.
Oatly. It's oat milk. They just... said it. But the "-ly" suffix gives it personality and warmth. It sounds friendly, approachable, a little playful. The name matches the voice perfectly, which is why the whole brand feels so cohesive.
Stripe. For a payments infrastructure company, this name is genius. It's clean, fast, visual (think racing stripes), and subtly references the magnetic stripe on credit cards without being literal about it. One syllable. Impossible to misspell.
Discord. For a platform originally built for gamers, naming yourself after chaos and disagreement is a power move. It's memorable, it's got edge, and it perfectly captures the energy of the community it serves.
The Naming Process That Actually Works
Step 1: Define the Brand Territory
Before generating a single name, get crystal clear on your brand's personality, audience, and positioning. A name for a luxury brand and a name for a disruptive challenger brand require completely different linguistic approaches.
Step 2: Generate Widely, Then Ruthlessly Filter
Create 200+ candidates across different naming strategies:
- Invented words (Spotify, Kodak)
- Real words, new context (Apple, Slack, Square)
- Compounds (Facebook, Snapchat, Mailchimp)
- Evocative/metaphorical (Amazon, Patagonia, Nike)
Then filter through: Is it trademarkable? Is the domain available (or acquirable)? Does it work internationally? Can your grandmother pronounce it?
Step 3: Test for Sound, Not Just Meaning
Say every finalist name out loud 50 times. Use it in a sentence. Imagine answering the phone with it. Imagine a customer recommending you: "You should try ___." Does it flow? Does it stick?
Step 4: Sleep On It
Seriously. The name that feels exciting on Tuesday might feel gimmicky on Thursday. Give your finalists a week. The one that keeps pulling you back is usually the right one.
The Takeaway
A great name won't save a bad brand, but a bad name will handicap a great one. Take the time. Do the work. Argue about it over dinner if you have to.
Just make sure it sounds good when someone says it to a friend.